Cracking Skulls and Stealing Hearts
by MisterHalt
Summary: Asuka goads Shinji into a kiss, but something unexpected results when it doesn't go as she hoped.


_'I'm bored.'_

Asuka slowly tapped a finger against the table. She was sitting in the kitchen, head resting sideways on an arm, wishing there was something to do. Her eyes darted to the side, where her fellow pilot Shinji Ikari was sitting in the doorway nearby, reading something.

 _'Just what is up with him? Is he freaking blind or something?'_

Somehow, the Third Child had so far managed to completely miss every cue Asuka had given off that she might be interested in the possibility of a more personal relationship between the two of them. Even when she had practically shoved her chest in his face while wearing a bikini, Shinji hadn't reacted as she had expected.

 _'Maybe I should just give up and go back to chasing Kaji.'_ Asuka grimaced as she remembered that the handsome unshaven man had essentially blown her off to go somewhere with Misato. She was beginning to think that she had lost the contest for Kaji's heart, and wondered if she had ever been in the running in the first place.

A quiet 'wark' gave Asuka something else to focus on. Just past Shinji, in the darkness of the lounge room, their penguin housemate Pen-Pen was napping. There was another 'wark', which seemed to be his way of snoring, and Shinji glanced over at the avian for a moment before smiling gently and returning his attention to his magazine.

That smile stopped Asuka's tapping finger, and she found herself focusing intently on the boy's face. Specifically, his mouth.

 _'I wonder what it'd feel like to-'_

She frowned. With how clueless he was, there was likely going to be no chance of _that_ happening.

 _'So make it as obvious as possible. How? By being the one to initiate it. The Third would never take the first step, so do it yourself.'_

But she couldn't just walk up and plant a kiss on him. It was practically guaranteed that something would go wrong, they'd both be embarrassed beyond belief, and their relationship would suffer.

 _'Well, he_ did _risk his life to save yours...'_

Asuka mentally scoffed. Of _course_ the Third Child saved her. They were Evangelion pilots. Part of their job was to watch each other's backs.

But Shinji had saved her while disobeying a direct order from their commanding officer. Misato had tried to order him to stay put, and let Asuka _die._ But Unit-01, without any protection against the lava like her Unit-02 possessed, had jumped straight into the volcano and caught her. Which wouldn't have been necessary if the Angel hadn't objected to being caught and severed the line that would have brought her back to the surface. It would have been a Pyrrhic victory if Shinji hadn't suddenly shown that he _did_ have a spine.

 _'Did you even bother to thank him for it?'_

Asuka quietly exhaled as her finger began to idly tap on the table again. She hated owing anybody anything, but she didn't know what could be adequate reward for a rescue from fiery death.

 _'Don't be stupid. Yes you do. And it's a perfect excuse.'_

She gave up, but not before forming a contingency plan.

"Hey Shinji, do you wanna kiss me?"

Shinji took one of his SDAT's earbuds out and looked at Asuka. "Eh? What?" he asked, clearly unable to believe what he had just heard.

"Kissing, you know. Have you ever done it?" Asuka inquired. The boy shook his head in response. Of course he had never kissed somebody. She sat up straight and said, "So let's do it."

Shinji recoiled slightly. "Uh... But... why?"

Asuka smirked. So far he was acting exactly as she expected, which was a little sad in a way. "I've got nothing else to do."

That was the contingency. If everything went alright, she could claim it was her reward. If not, well she was just looking for something to do to pass the time. What could go wrong here? It was just going to be a kiss.

"That's your reason? You're weird..."

Asuka fumed internally. Was he really going to try and get out of this? She was _not_ going to let him slip away again. "Afraid to kiss a girl on the anniversary of your mum's death? Is she watching you from up in heaven?"

"That's not it..." Shinji quietly began, but she pressed the attack.

"Or are you scared?"

 _That_ got him stood up and sharply said, "I'm not afraid! Pucker up!"

Asuka stood up too. "Right. Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yeah."

"Then... here I come."

She moved towards him, stopping when they were only a couple feet apart. Asuka could now hear the tinny sound of whatever Shinji was listening to on his SDAT, left on the floor under the magazine. They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Asuka decided it was time to take the initiative and lean forward a little. Shinji closed his eyes as she pursed her lips, their mouths now only separated by mere centimetres, but she stopped, staring at his face in such close proximity. The Third Child was blushing furiously. Obviously wondering what was happening, he opened his eyes again.

Asuka thought quickly. "Stop breathing, it's tickling me," she grumbled.

Shinji only had enough time to widen his eyes before she pinched his nostrils shut and leaned all the way in. Their lips met and she closed her eyes, waiting for that special... thing to happen.

Now she understood the term 'dead fish lips'. The boy seemed to have completely frozen. He wasn't doing _anything_ besides standing there. Wasn't the guy supposed to hold the girl? The only thing Asuka noticed was the sound of Pen-Pen cautiously moving past them to get into his fridge.

 _He wasn't doing anything._

Asuka had to make a decision soon. She had taken a short breath before diving in, but she refused to breathe through her nose and give Shinji the chance to complain about fairness or whatever. Her lungs were starting to complain, but she didn't want to give in.

Shinji finally seemed to be doing _something_ now. Asuka heard faint noises coming from him, and his head seemed to be trembling. Was he starting to run out of breath too? She opened her eyes, which immediately widened when she realised what she was looking at.

Shinji's face, previously just blushing bright red, was now turning blue, and his eyes were rolling up to the back of his head. His entire body was beginning to suffer from oxygen deprivation. Out of pure surprise, she let go of his nose and ended the kiss.

Just in time for Shinji to cough directly into Asuka's face at point blank range. A bit of saliva flew directly into her mouth and hit the back of her throat.

"Blech, gross!" Asuka exclaimed as she shoved him away, before turning around to run to the bathroom. However, she barely made it two steps before hearing something unexpected behind her.

Shinji, backing up to try and keep his balance after the shove, let out a sound of surprise as his foot slipped on the magazine and SDAT that had been left in the doorway. His legs flew out from underneath him, and Asuka turned around just in time to watch the back of his head hit the tiled floor with a sickening crack that would remain lodged in her mind for a long time.

"...Shinji?"

She took a hesitant step towards the boy sprawled out on the ground. His eyes were closed, and the only sign of life was the very slow rise and fall of his chest. Pen-Pen chose that moment to peek out of his fridge to see what the commotion was, and he let out a shocked squawk. The penguin took a moment to glare at Asuka before moving to stand near Shinji's head. He poked his cheek with a clawed flipper, before suddenly looking down at his flippers.

And the slowly growing puddle of blood the penguin was standing in.

As Pen-Pen tried to hop away on one foot after squawking in horror, Asuka finally broke out of her paralysis and rushed to kneel next to Shinji. Even knowing that bleeding head wounds tended to look worse than they really were didn't help; he had fallen _hard_.

"Shinji?" Asuka tried again while patting his cheek, her voice coming out as only a feeble whisper. "Can you hear me?"

No response.

"Scheiße. Nein, nein, _nein, nein,_ _ **nein**_ _!_ _Verdammte Scheiße, nein!_ "

Almost tripping over Pen-Pen in her haste, Asuka rushed to the phone and dialled a number she had been given soon after arriving in Japan, but had never expected to use. She began speaking almost before the person on the other end could give their officious greeting.

"This is Pilot Soryu. Pilot Ikari is hurt bad, possibly a fractured skull. Send a medical team to Major Katsuragi's apartment!"

The NERV operator took three seconds to absorb the information before responding with, "Acknowledged, Pilot Soryu. Medical team will be there in less than five minutes."

Asuka hung up, not bothering to give thanks or a goodbye. She snatched a tea towel from its drawer and folded it as she moved back over to Shinji.

"Pen-Pen, I need you to slip this under Shinji's head while I hold it up," she ordered as she dropped the towel in front of the penguin, who replied with a serious nod.

Using both hands, Asuka gingerly grasped Shinji's head and lifted it slightly, wincing at the faintly sticky sound it made. Pen-Pen placed the folded towel directly over the patch of blood, and she gently lowered the boy's head onto it, doing her best to keep it from slumping to one side.

"Hope Misato doesn't kill me for getting blood on her floor," the redhead muttered darkly, before scoffing. "She'd probably kill me for hurting Shinji though..."

"Wark!"

Asuka's eyes drifted towards the angry penguin. "Oh knock it off. I'm sure he'll be fine."

She could see the towel starting to turn red.

"...I'm... _sure_... he'll be fine," she mumbled in apprehension.

"...Right?" she asked meekly, her voice breaking on the last syllable.

* * *

Misato Katsuragi was many things while drunk: loud, boisterous, a little too friendly depending on who else was around. But she was not blind.

There was an ambulance in the parking lot of her apartment complex. This in itself did not raise any alarm bells until she and Kaji got a little closer and saw the discreet symbol of the organisation she worked at.

"Trouble," Kaji remarked, but Misato was already stumbling forward as a stretcher came through the lobby door.

"What's-" Misato quickly covered her mouth and gulped down her nausea. "What's going on?!" she demanded of the medics.

"Step aside please, lady," the man at the head of the stretcher tersely replied.

She moved to let them pass, but one look at the stretcher's occupant was all it took. She might have been drunk, but that didn't make her any less a NERV officer. "'Lady?!' I am Major Misato Katsuragi! Now tell me what the hell happened to my boy!"

It did make her an _angry_ NERV officer tonight, though.

The man paled. A drunk superior officer was clearly not what he wanted to deal with. "Um... unsure, Major. We got a call about five minutes ago saying that Pilot Ikari was badly hurt. When we got here he was bleeding from the back of his head. Pilot Soryu is still up there; she asked if she could ride in the back with Pilot Ikari, but... orders. Non-essential personnel, you know?."

Kaji was at her side now, placing a hand on her shoulder that was absolutely not to keep her steady. "Are _we_ 'non-essential personnel', young man?" he asked, staring directly at the now-sweating medic.

"Er... If you wish to come along you can... Major... and sir."

"You go," said Kaji to Misato. "You need to sit down anyway. I'll go upstairs and talk to Asuka, find out what happened."

After helping Misato into the ambulance Kaji lazily saluted just before the rear doors were closed, before heading towards the apartment complex elevator.

Misato leaned against the side of the ambulance, struggling to both stay awake and not give the paramedics another messy problem to deal with. She looked down at Shinji, and noted just how... _fragile_ he seemed on the stretcher. Very carefully, she reached out and ran a hand over his forehead. Regardless of what it did to her, she was going to be there for Shinji when he woke up.

Misato Katsuragi was many things while drunk. But a bad guardian was not one of them.

Not this time, at least.

* * *

Asuka barely heard the sound of the door opening again. She had hardly paid it any attention the first time, being focused solely on the unconscious boy. The unconscious boy that _she_ had caused potentially grievous injury to.

The paramedics hadn't spoken much besides orders to each other and a refusal of her request to go with them. Asuka had no idea if Shinji was alright or not, and not knowing was starting to eat away at her like acid. Sitting on the floor with arms around her legs, staring at the red stain on the floor, was certainly not going to do her psyche any favours, but she couldn't bring herself to move. To get up and do _anything else_ to take her mind of the fact that she had just badly hurt Shinji.

"Hey, kid."

Asuka jolted slightly, but her eyes didn't move from the stain. The towel had soaked up a lot of it, but no attempt had yet been made to clean up.

"Shinji's on his way to NERV's hospital now," Kaji continued as he sat down on the floor next to Asuka. "Misato's with him, but she'll probably end up passing out pretty soon."

"Drank too much again?" Asuka mumbled questioningly.

"Yep. Threw up in a bin while we were on our way back. Surprised she even made it home." The girl gave a very short and humourless laugh. "But enough about her, how are _you_ doing?"

Asuka curled up tighter. "'m fine."

"You're sitting on the floor staring at a bloodstain. That's not 'fine', Asuka." Kaji gently put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in slightly. "Just tell me what happened, then I'll decide whether Misato should know. I won't judge you, no matter what."

Somehow, the man seemed to already know that she had played a major part in the event. Asuka finally tore her gaze away from the stain and looked up at her former guardian. "...Y-you mean it? You won't hate me?"

Kaji shook his head. "I've looked after you for a long time. It would take far more than whatever happened tonight for me to even think about changing my opinion of you."

For the last ten minutes, Asuka had felt like she was about to break down. She grasped onto the lifeline with both hands and tried to inject some of her usual self into her response. "Well... good. But if you change your mind, I reserve the right to punch you for lying to me."

"Deal. Just don't go for the face." Kaji smiled disarmingly, and light glinted off a tooth. Or perhaps she was just imagining things.

And so the story came out, or at least as much as Asuka could relate without feeling like she would die of shame. Her true motivation for the kiss was kept back, as well as her disappointment that it hadn't gone as she expected.

"Well," remarked Kaji when she was finished. "You tried to kiss Shinji, but you forgot to take into account the necessity of breathing. You reflexively pushed him away after he coughed into your face, and he accidentally slipped and fell."

"Fell because I pushed him," Asuka clarified.

" _Accidentally._ You couldn't possibly have known that he would fall over. Shinji wasn't injured because you were being malicious, it was because of circumstances you couldn't foresee."

Fire returned to Asuka as she grew angry about Kaji brushing off her part in the mishap. "I could have not _pushed him_!"

"Could have, would have, should have." Kaji patted her shoulder. "You can't change the past. Just answer me this: accidental or not, are you sorry for what happened?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, damnit!"

"Good." Kaji got to his feet, offering a supportive hand to Asuka. "By the way, I know you were holding back something in what happened, but I understand it's probably none of my business. Just be more careful the next time you and Shinji decide to mouth-wrestle."

Asuka froze in the act of standing up, practically hanging off the man's outstretched arm. "What," she flatly replied.

Kaji just grinned cheekily, even as angry Germanic words were flung at him.

* * *

Misato came back to groggy wakefulness by somebody gently shaking her. It took her eyes several seconds to focus enough to see the green surgical scrubs of the man attached to the hand on her shoulder.

"Major Katsuragi?" the man said by way of greeting.

"Yeah, thass me," Misato slurred. She made a face at the taste of whatever had died in her mouth. "Ugh. How long has it been?"

"Three hours. Pilot Ikari will be coming out of surgery soon."

Hungover as she was, the woman struggled for a bit to get to her feet. "How is he?" she almost demanded.

"He has suffered a linear skull fracture." At Misato's blank look, the doctor continued. "Force was applied to the back of his head, and part of his occipit... _lower_ skull has been cracked slightly. The force was strong enough to also break the skin."

Misato blinked. "Force...? Somebody _attacked_ Shinji?!"

The surgeon patted the air in a placating gesture. "We don't know how it occurred, but assault is not necessarily how it happened. A simple fall can cause this type of injury, but it's not normally as bad as this."

"I think I can explain how it happened."

Misato and the surgeon turned to see Kaji standing nearby.

"Well don't just stand there, tell us!" the woman said frustratedly after a few seconds. "How did he get hurt so bad?"

Kaji stepped closer. "Shinji slipped on something and fell backwards. He hit the floor harder than if he had just fallen on his own."

Misato narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Ah," said the surgeon in understanding. "If he slipped, his head would have been travelling at a greater velocity."

"...I think I'll need you to tell me properly later, when I'm not hungover," Misato muttered. In response, Kaji held out a bottle of water, which made her eyes light up. "Oh gods, _thank you!"_

She snatched the bottle from his hand and drained half of it in seconds. It did wonders to get the horrible taste out of her mouth.

"So how is Shinji now, doc?" Kaji inquired.

"We've done what we can for the fracture, and stitched up his head." The surgeon sighed. "But we'll also need to run some tests on him to check for any damage to the brain."

Misato gasped, almost dropping the water bottle. "You think he might..."

"It's possible, but not a guarantee. It's better to be sure though."

Kaji's expression turned serious. "How long will the tests take?"

"A few more hours at the most. We already had to do a CT scan to check for any bleeding in the brain." At Misato's shocked stare, the surgeon quickly added. "We found nothing, but now that he's stabilised we'll need to do an MRI and EEG scan to check for any problems the CT scan couldn't pick up. Fortunately, since the patient is an Evangelion pilot, we have details about his brain activity on file. Doctor Akagi has already forwarded the relevant data, and we'll have that to compare the tests to. Once he's awake, we'll need to do some other tests, for hearing, vision and reaction."

Misato swore. "It's going to be a problem, if another Angel attacks while Shinji's still hospitalised." She shook her head and sighed. "We'll deal with that when the time comes."

"Pilot Ikari should only be out of action for a few days at the most. Complete recovery will take a while longer, and he will likely be prescribed some pain medication."

"How soon can we see him?" Misato blurted out.

"Now, if you like. We can spare a few minutes before taking him to the MRI."

"Good. I just... I just need to see him." Kaji put a hand on Misato's shoulder, and one of her own soon joined it.

The surgeon nodded. "I understand. This way, please."

Misato and Kaji were taken to what was probably starting to be seen by NERV staff as Shinji's hospital room. The surgeon bid them farewell at the door, and the possibly-a-couple stepped into the dark room. The woman grit her teeth upon once again seeing one of her charges in a hospital bed.

"I hate having to see him like this," she whispered as she leaned into Kaji. "I keep thinking that next time he won't be as lucky."

Kaji's only response was to put an arm around her.

"Where's Asuka anyway?" Misato quietly asked after a minute of silence. "Did she tell you what happened?"

"She's napping in the lobby. She wanted to see Shinji as soon as possible, but I convinced her that it was going to be quite a while before he'd be available. Poor kid needed some rest anyway, she was practically falling apart when I found her in your apartment." Kaji led her over to a chair where she sat down, while he leaned against the wall nearby.

"As for what happened, it's really just a misadventure. Just as I said before, Shinji slipped and fell hard onto the floor."

Misato raised a suspicious eyebrow as she tossed the now-empty water bottle into the bin. "That's it? That's _all_ that happened?"

"That is precisely how Shinji got hurt," Kaji airily replied with a smirk.

"...There's something you're not telling me."

"I haven't told you about many things."

Misato just barely kept herself from screaming.

"Relax." Kaji raised a placating hand. "I'm going to let Asuka tell you herself. She was really broken up about it, and I had to promise that I wouldn't change my opinion about her before she'd talk to me."

"So she _did_ have something to do with it!"

"Misato." The woman faltered at the abrupt harshness in Kaji's tone. "I want a promise from _you_ now. Promise that when you speak to her, you'll do it with an open mind and no preconceived notions about what did or didn't happen."

"...Fine, I promise."

They fell silent. A minute later, an orderly came to take Shinji away to the MRI room and Misato took that as a cue to leave and search for a certain redhead.

* * *

Asuka tended to sleep like a cat. She could be dead to the world one second and awake and completely alert the next. Sudden and random early morning drills in NERV Berlin had practically forced that trait upon her.

When Misato flopped onto the hospital lobby couch next to her, all it took was one sniff for Asuka to already know who had woken her up, and she began to prepare her complaint.

"Kaji told me what happened," the woman bluntly stated.

A jolt of fear struck Asuka, mixed with anger and a feeling of betrayal.

"Well, he told me precisely how Shinji got hurt."

Asuka relaxed, but only slightly.

"Please, tell _me_ what happened."

Kaji's reassurances about Asuka's part in the night's debacle helped a bit. But as she slowly recounted the story a second time, the guilt began to creep back in. When she was finished, she was curled up in a ball on the couch, looking at nothing.

At least there was no bloodstain here.

Trepidation made its presence known, as Misato simply sat there silently, arms folded and a frown on her face. Asuka began to wonder when the explosion of anger would happen as she very slowly began to inch away from the woman.

"What you did," Misato finally said, "was a pretty lousy thing, Asuka."

Asuka opened her mouth to reply, but snapped it shut. What Misato said had been what she felt she deserved to hear, but not what she expected, since Kaji had done his best to try and absolve her of guilt.

"Couldn't you have done something better?"

"Better than pushing him over, you mean?" Asuka retorted.

"What?" Misato turned her head to look at her, confusion growing on her face before realisation dawned. "Oh. No, I'm not talking about how Shinji got hurt. Despite how you feel, I understand that it was an accident. I don't blame you, Kaji doesn't either, and I'm sure Shinji won't, once he wakes up."

"Of course he would! I was the one who pushed him!"

The two of them were now glaring at each other.

"Asuka, I'm _not_ going to go into that anymore. It's done, you're not in trouble, just _leave it!_ "

The redhead folded her arms and turned away in a huff. "Easy for you to say, you're not the one that'll keep hearing the sound his head made when it hit the floor..." Asuka had in fact heard it in her mind at least five times since coming to the hospital. Six times now, since she had just brought it up.

A gentle hand descended onto her shoulder. "I'm sorry Asuka," Misato apologised. "I'm still hungover, and it's making me testy." She sighed heavily. "Maybe I should have just stayed home tonight..."

"Hmph. Maybe." Asuka uncrossed her arms and slumped against the back of the couch. "Maybe I should have thought of something else to do to try and stop being bored."

Apparently not knowing what to say to that, Misato said, "Well anyway, as I was saying, you did a lousy thing to Shinji."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "...Make up your mind, you drunk. Am I to blame for hurting him or not?"

"I'm not talking about the accident," replied Misato. "I'm referring to something else you did. Something that can't be fixed, no matter what you do."

Turning a wary eye on the woman saying strange things, Asuka said, "How about you start making sense?"

"I'll make it as simple as possible." Misato's arms were crossed and there was disappointment written across her face. "You stole Shinji's first kiss, and it's like you went out of your way to make it as terrible for him as possible."

After several long seconds, Asuka realised she had absolutely nothing to say in rebuttal.

"You goaded and bullied him while bringing a deceased relative into it," Misato continued, in a tone normally reserved for when she was in the role of a superior officer giving somebody a dressing down. "Then you practically choked him out, to the point that I'm sure he would have collapsed if you'd kept it up a few seconds longer."

Asuka's brain made frantic calls to her speech centre. There was no reply.

"Hopefully his next girlfriend will be a bit more sensitive."

Finally, some words managed to make their way to the redhead's mouth. "N- _next_ girlfriend?!"

Misato raised an eyebrow as her expression turned innocent. "What?"

Asuka stood up and put her hands on her hips, glaring at her guardian. "You said 'next' girlfriend. What are you implying?!"

"I said nothing of the sort."

"Goddamnit, you crazy alchoholic, you damn well did!"

Misato got to her feet. "Hmph. Well if you're going to start calling me names, I'll just leave you alone." She rubbed her eyes. "Actually I should probably go anyway. Need more sleep."

As Misato reached the exit, Asuka called out, "Wait! Misato!" To her surprise, the woman actually stopped and turned to look at her. "Um... Is he... going to be alright?"

"The doctors are optimistic right now," Misato tiredly replied. "He's out of surgery, but they still need to run some tests."

"How long?"

"A few more hours."

Asuka looked away slightly, absently rubbing her right arm with her left hand. "...Which room is he staying in?"

Misato gave her the room number, and quickly stepped aside as the Second Child strode towards the elevator where she stabbed the call button. The woman wasn't following, simply looking at her, so Asuka stepped in and let the elevator door close.

"Can't be fixed no matter what I do, huh?" she muttered to herself as the door opened on the appropriate floor. "We'll see about that, you boozehound."

* * *

The good thing about having to wait for Shinji's return was that Asuka had time to plan out just how she was going to make things right. Plans were mentally discarded left and right as she stood there in Shinji's hospital room staring out the window.

The bad thing was that the waiting was also starting to get to her. Every plan that was thrown out was also contributing to Asuka's nervousness. At one point she even began to wonder if Shinji would hate her.

It was at that point when the door opened and a hospital bed was rolled in, containing a certain brown-haired boy, and all of Asuka's thoughts flew out of her head like a startled flock of birds.

Tense minutes passed in silence after the orderly left, until one of the birds finally deigned to return to its roost. Asuka sat on the chair next to the bed and looked at Shinji. There was a bandage around his head, and there was likely to be a bald patch on the back of his head so that the wound could be tended to.

She reflexively touched her own hair at the thought, idly noting that if she had been the one in the bed, there would have been hell to pay for touching her hair. Shinji likely wouldn't care, even if it made him look weird. But then the scar, if there was one, combined with his status as an Evangelion pilot, might convince people that he had acquired the injury in combat. And Asuka had a feeling that Shinji would just let them believe that.

"Nngh..."

As if he could somehow sense that somebody was thinking about him, Shinji chose that moment to twitch and let out a low groan. Which caused Asuka's thoughts to fly away again.

"Oh... _this_ ceiling again," Shinji muttered soon after his eyes fluttered open. He made to sit up...

And immediately hissed in pain, reaching for the back of his head, a second before a hand on his chest forced him back to horizontal. The boy let out another, shorter hiss as his head touched the pillow again. After a moment, Asuka remembered to move her hand.

"Stay down, Third," she ordered. How easy it was to slip back into that habit. "You took a nasty hit." Technically true, for the moment.

"Did... I take it we won though?" asked Shinji. The strangeness of the question threw Asuka for a loop, and he continued in the wake of her silence. "I'm in hospital again, and just like the first time I don't quite remember how I got here."

Short term memory loss. A common symptom of head wounds. He didn't remember the kiss.

"There was no Angel." She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Someone hurt you."

"Some... one?" Shinji looked as if he were about to sit up again, so Asuka put up a cautionary hand to stop any attempt. "What did I do? Who's angry at me?"

Asuka took a slow deep breath, and let her head drop so that her chin was resting on her chest.

Of _course_ Shinji would instantly believe that he had pissed somebody off. That notion was only _slightly_ correct, because something he had done had made her unthinkingly lash out at him. With a nasty consequence.

"Thir-... Shinji," Asuka began, still looking down. "It was... me."

She couldn't see it, but she knew the boy's eyes had shot wide open. "W-w-what?! A-Asuka... I'm sorry!"

"...Sorry?" Anger bubbled up inside her. "Sorry?!"

Her chair fell to the ground as Asuka abruptly stood up. A second later, her hands were tightly clenching Shinji's hospital gown and her face was only centimetres from his. Again.

"You're _sorry?!_ I provoke you, practically choke you out, then send you crashing to the floor so hard you crack your skull open, and all you have to say is that you're _sorry?!_ "

"S-s-s-sorry!" The now-shaking boy clenched his eyes shut and turned his head away from Asuka, who suddenly realised what she was doing. She let go of him, backing away from the bed in a daze as she belatedly noted that she was starting to earn the 'Red Demon' nickname that the Stooges always threw at her.

Her foot bumped the fallen chair, and Asuka stopped her retreat just in time to avoid another pilot getting injured.

"Shinji... I..." Words failed the girl. The door was suddenly in her sight; an escape from this disaster. She had come here with the earnest intent to apologise, to try and make things right between them, and all she had done was hurt Shinji some more.

Her hand was on the door handle when she heard Shinji shout, "A-Asuka! Wait!" It was immediately followed by a groan of agony.

She couldn't bear to look at him; to be in the same room as him. The shame was too great.

"Please don't go..."

But his plea stopped her in her tracks. Asuka couldn't be sure, but she heard something that might have been a sigh of relief.

"Asuka... what happened?"

She turned her head only slightly, keeping her gaze locked on the door. "...What's the last thing you remember?" she inquired in a low, glum voice.

"Um..." Shinji fell silent as he searched his battered memory. "We were... at home. I was reading, you were in the kitchen."

"Anything else?" Asuka pressed.

"You were talking... I'm not sure what you sa-... No wait, you said something about having... nothing to do?"

She took a few tentative, jerky steps back towards the bed, but kept her eyes away from the occupant. "What next?"

"We... we..." Shinji tried to stifle a gasp of pain, and Asuka tried to fight an urge to get him lying down again.

She lost.

In an instant, the injured boy was horizontal again, both of Asuka's hands pushing down on his torso.

"Take it easy," she said. After a minute, Shinji seemed to have recovered a bit. "Try again."

"We were... we... were..."

Beneath her left hand, Asuka felt his heartbeat increase. She chanced a glance out the corner of her eye. Shinji's face was turning red, and his eyes were as wide as plates.

"W-w-w-we k-k-k-k-," he embarrassedly stammered.

"We kissed," Asuka said for him, a blush starting to suffuse her own cheeks. "I held your nose shut, you couldn't breathe, and then when I let go you coughed into my face." Her hands began to shake as she lifted them from his body. "And... and then I... pushed you away, and... you fell over."

She put her hands on the edge of the mattress to support herself. It was that or flop to the ground: her legs were threatening to give out as she confessed her sin.

"Your head hit the floor so hard... and then you weren't moving..." Asuka clenched her eyes shut. She felt something that might have been a tear try to force its way out, and she couldn't allow it.

No crying. Not after what had happened a decade ago.

Eventually, she managed to force the rest of the story out as well. It was made a little easier by the fact that she had already recounted the story twice, but also made much harder seeing that she was confessing to the victim. But finally, it was all in the open.

"Asuka..." Shinji finally said after a minute of silence. "Did you... mean for me to fall over?"

"What are you, stupid?" Asuka growled, then internally winced at what she had just said before continuing. "All I wanted to do was get your face away from mine after you practically spat in my mouth."

"So the fall was an accident, right?"

She groaned in annoyance as her head drooped. "People do keep telling me that."

"Then why are you acting like it's all your fault?"

"Because it damn well is!" Asuka exploded. Shinji flinched away from her, and she had to turn around and take a few steps away before she did something stupid. Again. After a few deep and calming breathes, she returned to the bedside and folded her arms. "Like I said before. _I_ provoked you into kissing me when you didn't want to. _I_ made you suffocate. _I pushed you_." She said the last line directly at Shinji's face. And then was surprised at just how calm he looked.

"Asuka." The boy cautiously raised a hand, hovering it just near her elbow as if he was afraid that touching her would instantly burn it off. Eventually he got the courage up to make contact. "From now on, I'm going to say this as many times as I need to: I don't blame you. It was an accident."

"Not you too..." Asuka loudly groaned. She closed her eyes and sighed. "You're too damn nice, Third Child. Only you wouldn't hold a grudge against somebody who put you in hospital."

"The only thing to blame is whatever I slipped on," Shinji stated.

"That'd be your stupid outdated music player," Asuka provided.

"Then my SDAT has earned some time in the naughty corner."

She _tried_ to keep it stifled. She _tried_ not to let her reaction to such a silly punishment for an inanimate object show. But Asuka found she was helpless to stop the corners of her mouth from twitching upwards. And equally helpless to keep down the chuckle that escaped her lips.

"Oh, _mein Gott_ ," Asuka mumbled as soon as she got herself back under control. She vigorously shook her head to try and clear it. "Anyway. Everybody can keep saying that it was an accident, but I still feel guilty. Until I do something as an apology, that feeling won't go away."

Shinji began to speak, but she held up a hand. "Don't even say that I don't have to. I'm _going_ to do something, and even an Angel wouldn't be able to stop me. Besides, more happened last night than you getting hurt, in a way."

Now the poor boy was staring confusedly up at her. Asuka ran a hand through her hair as she tried to put the right words together. "Shinji... I stole something from you." The confused look only grew larger. "Misato told me something important that I _am_ completely guilty of."

Shinji nervously cleared his throat."Whatever it is, you can just give it back, I'm su-"

"It's not something physical," interrupted Asuka. "Misato said that I stole your first kiss, and on top of that made it incredibly horrible for you."

"O-... oh..." The confusion lifted from his face. "W-well, it's fine, I guess. You don't need to make up for something so minor..."

"Minor?!" Asuka stalked over to the window in frustration. "A first kiss is important. It's supposed to _mean something._ With some _one_ important. All yours means is that I hurt you." She whirled around. "I need to fix what I did."

Shinji gulped as she slowly walked back towards his head. "Thir-... Shinji," she nervously began. "I'm going to make it up to you, the only way I possibly can."

"Asuka... what are you-" Shinji faltered as Asuka leaned in close.

"I'm calling for a do-over."

"Oh... um..."

"But before I do..." Asuka stood up straight. Was that disappointment in his eyes? She focused her gaze on him. "I need to know something first: why didn't you do anything the first time?"

Utter confusion returned to Shinji's face. "Why didn't I... what?"

"You just stood there like a log. Kissing doesn't involve just standing around. There are other elements." ' _You didn't even hold me.'_

"Oh!" Realisation dawned, followed by embarrassment that flooded the boy's cheeks with redness. "You... um... you decided to kiss me. Completely out of nowhere. I was still trying to work out if I was dreaming!" He brought up a hand to nervously rub the back of his head, but halted as soon as a finger brushed the bandage. "And then you _actually kissed me!_ My brain just gave up and shut down!"

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Was I really _that_ amazing?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yeah!"

She blinked. He blinked. They both stared at each other in complete shock at what Shinji had just uttered. Asuka had not been expecting _that_ kind of response.

Shinji recovered first. "I mean... um..." Sort of.

Asuka's arms dropped to her sides. "W-well then," she stammered, glancing away and trying to fight down her blush, before she managed to rally. "I mean, of course I am! I'm the Great Asuka Langley-Soryu!" Before Shinji could respond, she pointed an imperious finger at him. "And you are the Invincible Shinji Ikari."

The words seemed to be coming from nowhere now. There was no way she could possibly have had time to come up with them before they were fired out of her mouth.

"I hereby declare a do-over of our kiss. Plus, as a fellow Evangelion pilot, as my housemate, as m-my," she verbally stumbled a little, "my _friend,_ and as somebody I feel I can trust, I decree that you are allowed to touch my person." She stopped to glare at him, masking her surprise at what she had just decided to allow. "But no funny business. Got it?"

On the plus side, it meant that Shinji had practically been given a clear instruction.

Hopefully he understood that.

At Shinji's hesitant nod, Asuka let out a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding. She stepped closer to the bed and, for the third time, stopped him from sitting up. Placing an arm on either side of him, she leaned over the boy and stared down at his furiously blushing face.

"Pucker up," she ordered as the distance between their faces began to shrink.

Their lips were almost touching when Shinji said, "A-Asuka?"

She halted her descent. "What?"

"Did you brush your teeth?"

Was he _grinning_ at her? Asuka stared incredulously down at him for a moment, then sighed.

"Smartass."

Their lips met.

Unlike the disaster of their first attempt, Asuka could sense right away that Shinji was actually getting into the act this time. Asuka could think of nothing else but the point where their lips touched, but a niggling thought reminded her that there was still something missing, so she reluctantly broke the kiss off after much too little time had passed.

"Whoah..." Shinji looked about as dazed as she felt.

"That was... better," said Asuka. "But you're forgetting something."

"Forg- Oh." The boy blushed and glanced away. "Sorry, I wasn't sure what I should do."

"Like I said before, you may touch me," she reminded him, "but no going for the goods. Absolutely anything else is fine."

Asuka leaned in to try again, but a single word from Shinji halted her.

"Wait."

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, before Shinji suddenly closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. Asuka suppressed a shiver; his eyes were filled with determination.

"Alright," he said. "I'm ready."

He reached a hand up and cupped the back of Asuka's head. His other hand snaked towards her abdomen, and she bit down a reflexive angry retort as the questing hand settled gently on her waist.

And then, with only a slight amount of pressure, Shinji pulled her down to meet him until their lips brushed against each other. He smiled, and she could literally _feel_ it.

Their lips met again, and the world ceased to exist.

At least, that was how Asuka felt.

A flash of light illuminated the room for a split second, and it took Asuka several seconds to work out that it had _not_ been because of the kiss. Some confused noises came from both teenagers as they realised that something had interrupted them. Asuka turned her head to the door, ready to unleash some Teutonic fury on the orderly that had dared to interfere...

...Only to see Misato's hideously smug grin beneath a small camera peeking through the open door.

Asuka blinked slowly. "Misato..." she began in a low, dangerous tone.

"Yes?" Their guardian's voice was sickeningly sweet and innocent, as if she hadn't just been caught.

" _Gib mir die gottverdammte Kamera!"_

The Second Child surged over the bed, deftly avoiding the chair on the other side as her feet hit the floor again. She bolted for the door, but Misato was already fleeing down the hall. Fortunately, all Asuka had to do was follow the sound of a cackling madwoman.

" _Komm sofort zurück! Ich mach dich kalt!"_

* * *

"So I eventually tracked her down, cornered her, and demanded the film. She refused, I threatened violence, she teased me, I threatened _more_ violence, then I distracted her by claiming Kaji was nearby and grabbed the camera. Misato got all pouty until I explained that I wanted to develop that picture she'd just taken. That's when she offered to get it done up perfectly, but only if she got a copy as well. So now there's an identical picture and frame somewhere in her new house, and she's probably telling Kaji the same story."

"Wow," remarked Shinji, looking up from the image of possibly the most amazing moment in his life. It had been taken with a cheap, disposable camera, but evidently some science -or maybe magic- had been involved to make it look as clear and perfect as possible. He gently sat the picture back down on the mantelpiece and headed back to the sofa, where he sat down and put his arm around the girl of his dreams.

"Wait, didn't you say that Misato had gone back home?" he asked as a thought occurred.

"I don't think she ever mentioned actually going _home_ ," replied Asuka as she snuggled into his side. "But she'd apparently walked back to Kaji's car and tried to fall asleep in the passenger seat. It was too uncomfortable though, so she gave up and came back here to try and find Kaji. And ended up seeing... well... us."

"Ah."

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence for a while, until Asuka spoke up again.

"So now that the Angel War is over, what are you planning to do?" she inquired.

"I haven't decided yet," Shinji admitted. "There's still the rest of high school to go, anyway."

"Ugh." The redhead rolled her eyes. "I already have the damn education. Only reason I'm still going to that school is because of Hikari. Oh, and you of course," she added almost as an afterthought, but there was humour in her voice that made Shinji chuckle and gently squeeze her.

"But have you decided what you're going to do afterwards?" asked Shinji. "You've already got a degree, are you going to use it to get a job?"

Asuka thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Nah, that degree was pretty much purely to improve my worth as an Eva pilot and to show that I could get one at such a young age. I'll probably get another one. Something I'll actually give a crap about now."

She pulled away from the embrace a little and gazed at Shinji. When he turned a curious look upon her, she added, "Why don't I see if there's something we'll both enjoy? It'd certainly be more interesting if we're both in the same classes. We could even end up getting a job at the same place."

Shinji smiled. "I'll leave that up to you. Whatever you pick, I'll be happy to follow along."

"Oh good! I was thinking of moving to America and becoming a talk show host. You can be the musical and comedy relief." Mischief glinted in her eyes as his own began to widen. "You dummy. It's going to be something we're _both_ legitimately interested in."

The doorbell interrupted their conversation, and Asuka reluctantly got up to see who it was. The security front door slid open as she palmed the release, and a bored-looking deliveryman stared back at her.

"Shinji Katsuragi?" he asked. "I have a parcel that requires a signature."

"He's my boyfriend," Asuka replied.

"Good enough. Sign here."

She scribbled on the digital pad he held out to her, then took the parcel and stepped back into Misato's old apartment.

"It's from Rei," she called out as she read the details on the parcel. "Looks like another of her round-the-world trip videos."

"Oh? Where did she go this time?" Shinji wondered as she sat back down next to him on the couch.

"...Huh. Germany." Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Damn, she should have said something, I could have told her about some really nice places."

"You wanna watch it now?"

"Nah, I'll put it on after dinner." She placed the video cassette on the coffee table. "For now, I've got something better in mind."

"What's that?"

Asuka grinned deviously. "Shinji, do you wanna kiss me?"

* * *

 **A/N : **This is a one-shot idea I came up with quite a while ago. My take on the infamous kiss scene that has been used so much as a 'For Want of a Nail' scenario. I'm not writing the knock-on effects for the entire rest of the Evangelion series, because other people have done them much better than I could.

Thanks go to Gryphon for the title of this piece, since I'm terrible at coming up with names for things.


End file.
